A husband told his wife that if she doesn’t want to breastfeed their new baby, she’ll have to go back to work. Yet, despite knowing how the sentiment would come off, he’s explained his side.
In the Reddit group, r/AmITheA**Hole — a subreddit where members share compromising stories in an attempt to see if they’re the jerk in the situation — user u/iswearimnotchauvinst said that after he and his wife had their first baby, money was tight. A major reason for this was because, after many talks with her husband, the new mom decided to quit her job to be a stay at home mother. They had to do some downsizing and sell a car, but they made it work, despite only having around $75 left after paying their monthly bills and buying groceries.
So, when his wife said she wanted another child, he said they should wait until they’re in a better financial position. Still, the mother insisted, saying that they had clothes and reusable diapers, and she could breastfeed now that she’s not working, so a second baby wouldn’t be as financially straining. The husband stood his ground, however, but his wife went off her birth control without telling him. So, they had a baby and after 16 weeks, she’s said she doesn’t want to breastfeed anymore.
“My wife says she doesn’t want to breastfeed anymore because formula is easier. She’s having no supply issues or latch issues-she just doesn’t want to anymore,” writes the Redditor in a post we edited for grammatical purposes. “I told her that we couldn’t afford formula and if that’s what she wanted to [go back to formula] then she’d have to go back to work.”
With a little bit of context to the situation, the group voted that he’s not the a-hole. In fact, some questioned how his relationship handled his partner going off birth control without his knowledge. He says they’re speaking with a counselor, but it wasn’t easy news to hear. Aside from that, however, a majority of the users believed it was a reasonable request to ask. If money is tight, both parents need to make a decision on what is best for their children, and that may mean both working.
Overall, the situation still seems pretty tense. The mix of how the pregnancy came to be and one party’s unwillingness to compromise is surely making for a tough period in their lives, mix in two children on top of that and we’re sure u/iswearimnotchauvinst is pretty stressed out. While his request might sound bad on paper, picking up a job may not be the worst thing for the mother to do when she’s able to get back to work.